Women's Sexualities

   By: Dr Carol Rinkleib Ellison

Generations of Women Share Intimate Secrets of Sexual Self-Acceptance

R. The Questions in This Section Are About Affairs.

An affair, for the purposes of these questions, refers to you having sex outside of your relationship in a way that violates rules of the relationship against it.

If you and your partner have agreed that outside sex is OK, then it's not an affair. If you are single and having sex with someone who is married, that is not an affair for you.

1. The number of affairs I have had in my life is ______________.

    If you have NEVER had an affair, circle 0 and skip to Question 3.


2. The most important reason(s) for my FIRST affair were (check up to three reasons):


Not enough sex in my primary relationship_____.

Not enough closeness in my primary relationship_____.

Curiosity Strong attraction to the other person_____.

Desire for something different_____.

To make my partner jealous_____.

To get back at my partner for something done to me_____.

Trying to get pregnant (I couldn't get pregnant with my partner)_____.

It provided a way out of an unsatisfactory relationship_____.

My partner is/was unable to engage in sex (e.g. due to a medical problem)_____.

Other( please specify):________________________________.
















3. With respect to my current partner (check the best answer):

    I have no current partner_____.

    I am quite certain that while in relationship with me he/she has not had an affair with someone else_____.

    I sometimes wonder if he/she has had or is having an affair; I am not sure_____.

    I am quite certain that he/she has had or is having an affair_____.


4. While I was growing up, my father and mother, or the "parents" who raised me"_____.

    (check one answer in each column):

  Mother Father
Never had an affair that I suspected or knew about    
Had 1 or more affairs that I knew about    
May have had an affair, I was not sure    
Not applicable    






Answer Questions 5 & 6 IF you have NEVER had an affair as defined above or if you have never had an affair while with your current partner.

5. The most important reason(s) I have never had an affair or NOT had an affair in my current relationship are
    (up to three reasons):

    I have had no desire to do so_____.

    I have not had an opportunity to do so_____.

    Having as affair is against my values_____.

    I am/was afraid of getting caught by my partner_____.

    I don't/didn't believe I could deal with the guilt_____.

    It would destroy my relationship_____.

    I am/was afraid of catching a sexually transmitted disease_____.

    Other (please specify):_________________________________________.

6. I would be open to having an affair in the future (if currently in a relationship, answer in terms of still being in that relationship)

   Strongly Disagree                        Strongly Agree                                        N/A
 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  0


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The questionnaire is here for VIEWING ONLY.
Please DO NOT send your answers to me.

Copyright 1998, Carol Ellison, Ph.D.